Things I have lost and where I eventually found them

I lose things a lot so I decided to make a list of things that I lost and where I eventually found (or did not find) then.

How is it I can remember where I found them but not where I put them? Maybe my ancient ancestors know. Maybe there are borrowers in my various rented accommodations. 

What I lose the most

1.Glasses

I lose these a lot and try to have more than one so I can still leave the house if I can't find it.

2. Keys

This used to happen a lot so I attach them to a string and leave them in a visible place in the house.

3. Purse

I just put a lot less in the purse, never switch bags and keep the purse on a string attached to the bag.

4.Scissors

I always need them. Never know where they are so I have one in each room. Then one on my keys. 

5. Socks

Somehow, when I'm planning my outfit, socks never come into the planning stage. I never find the ones I want and end up late or having to wear odd ones. I got all of them exactly the same and this has helped somewhat. 

11. Phone.

Losing this is embarrassing, panic causing and expensive and I have done it several times. I get a case with a strap and carry a small bag to put it in, instead of my main bag or jacket pockets. Also, I regret the back ups I didn't do. 

13. Digital items. 

Ah, these, linked to the device you own or a drop in the ocean of your email. These can get lost in a myriad of ways, from accidentally reformatting my SD card, finding it has been corrupted, the website its one has been shut down, or simply not being able to remember the password. 

Where I find them

1.Normally find my glasses down the side of the bed or sofa. 

2.My phone, on a windowsill in the kitchen. 

3.A whole ear of corn that I put in my hamster cage to lure him back. Corn was not there in the morning , I lived in a tiny studio but never found that corn, even when I moved out. 

4.Remote control, found inside the fridge. 

5. Fancy rainbow scissors, behind the washing machine. 

6. I can't remember the item but I found it in the pocket of a bag I hardly use. 

7. Lots and lots of tissues, after I wash them. 

8.Blue Mirrored Clip on glasses, in the pocket of my summer jacket, midwinter. 

9.One of my favourite leopard print socks down in a pair of trainers I hadn't worn for some time. 

10. Inner pocket of my suitcase, again, no idea what the item was but when I have been trying to find something for days, I will look there. 

11. In the junk drawer I had already looked in several times. 

12. Found my phone under my pillow. 

13. Hairbands and hairpins, where do they go? I just buy in bulk and accept there will be loss.

14. My bank card. Found it under the drainer. 

15. Glasses, wedged behind the heater

16. Glasses, wedged behind the plantain/hard food basket. 

17.

Cleaning My House

So. Cleaning. That daily consequence of living. All the development and technology is more geared to making slaves of all, taking up our attention, influencing our spending habits and more. While the tools that could make our lives just stagnate.

Robot butlers never show up. Just more and more AI. It's always "Let us make your life easier by having direct access to bank accounts and the inner workings of your mind. It's never : here's a robot that will take your clothes out of the washing machine and fold and sort them in weekly outfits. 

Tech companies just fill me with marvel. The sweeping generalisations. The bathwater out with the baby.  

We don't need to hire people to create taxonomies, we can utilise use generated ones. We can automate moderation cos our AI can spot bullying and abuse.

"Add subtitles to your videos" they say on video sites. It helps blind people. Meanwhile blind people are using note takers like this Braille Sense U2 portable braille for the very affordable £4,074.00 or £3,395.00 without VAT. 

I've spoken to blind people who say it's a lifeline to them. A lifeline that seems like it was created in 1985, then barely updated. 

Thanks to the indomitable TikTok, I've found that so many blind people live on their own with tons of gadgets to get them through their day. 

I've also found cleaning TikTok. They have lots of gadgets on there too. The right kind of scrubbing brush, even thought it won't last as long as a Wide Toothed comb(15 years) can make cleaning so much easier. Having problems with your back which is making empting out the mop bucket and moving furniture around a pain. Let me introduce you to vertical storage, putting things in clear boxes, spray mops and realising cleanliness is a tied in with privilege. 

Vertical storage is using ladder-like furniture and shoe holders to keep shoes off the floor. 

Clear boxes helps you remember what you have do you don't end up buying duplicates of things you already have and making your clutter problems even worse. 

Spray mops are honestly a gift from heaven. I heard about the robot vacuums and longed for a mopping one. 

I spent lots of time on ebay looking for cheap ones to try. However, the reservoirs for the water seemed tiny. So, you would have to spend your whole time fidling around with its tiny parts and bending down and picking it up off the floor. What I need, is a self filling, self charging device. Anything else seemed like an expensive, clutter adding learning curve mistake. Leaning curves are what every tech manafacturer denies. Using a Samsung phone, an ipad, a Windows PC at work and a macbook at home? 

They! all! Work! The! Same!

Sounds like rich people problems!

Maybe we need to hire a Gen Z-er,I thought you were one? Oh, can you show me how to edit this PDF, and what does rich text mean?

Can't you just Google it? 

This is fun, but what is even more fun when you have to use multiple databases at work on top of that. They all "have no learning curve" then Windows comes along and updates everything. But as tech innovators say, UX is an unnecessary expense and drags out and complicates the design process. Same thing with security. Basically anything that takes the shine away from their absolute brilliance. If you buy in a product that requires an expensive overhaul of a system or crashes everything else, user error. If hackers get into the system, user error. Factoring in users is a waste of their brilliant minds, sorry we bothered you with such a trivial thing. Sorry that UX people were the only ones wasting time on reviewing your little project, so you decided that they were the ones "blocking you". Or even better, in this clicks for payment era, that slandering an industry was the best way to promote your product. 

Anyway, I digress. What was I talking about again? Oh yes, it was cleaning the floor. The next step down from an automated mopped was fancy mops. I had seen spray mops before, I didn't think that they would really clean the floor. The mechanism would jam. It would be a waste of money. Anyway, I got one this time. It was a game changer. Honestly, I couldn't believe how easy it was. 

Had I really been messing about with a mop and bucket all this time? 

Cleanliness being tied in with privilege is a strange one. Can only rich people be clean? Are poor, clean people "better" than poor untidy ones? Well, yes, in a way.  They have more time, they have better metal health and physical health too. Still poverty, is humiliating, and someone who can see some colours, in the land of the blind, may decide to use this, to bolster their egos. Phrases such as "Cleanliness is next to godliness" and " They are not clean" gets thrown around. 

But if you have a functional space, if your home is sanitary, mess can be overlooked. 

Morally Neutral. One of those overly simplistic things that they come up with to explain evil. They could read Machiavelli but I suppose doing so would rob them off the glory of coining their own term. 

So: finding labour saving tools, limiting your possessions and understanding your energy levels and accepting and planning for dips in your mood is more important than worrying about gaining the respect of people who don't really deserve it. 

Stimming and pinging

So, turns out my "addictive personality" and my "running passenger" was ADHD all this time.

So, other people who have ADHD and/or are Autisic, like and/or need to stim. You can stim with a tool or do a full body stim. Each type of stim has it's own advantages and disadvantages and you can't always do or use the stim you need. So, with a condition that magnifies everything that you feel, it's best to be prepared, and over prepared. Luckily, the condition is also comes with hyper focus. 

Stim Tools 

I have always suspected I have an addictive personality. Once I find something that gives me that kick, I run it into the ground. I am right now in the grip of an ebay buying addiction which I know realise I have been using as stim. But before I go, will get some stim tools. There are so many of them. Those that burn energy, those that soothe and distract, some are socially acceptable. Lots of these I will have to buy but many others I have already. 

Tangle Teaser

I once went to a training course where they had tangle teasers and before the meeting had ended I had already reserved one to the local Argos and I ran straight to the store to pick it up. 

I have kept one one me at all times just in case of emergency. But now I know that I need them and why I need them, I decided to indulge myself and get the very best one I could. 

Silicone Jiggle Toys

The elasticy stretchy ones hold particular fascination for me. I just love that you pull them and they cover right back and wiggle when they arrive. 

I went to WHS on the search for a gift for my neighbour's child. While I was in there, I found a fabulous pen. It had a top like an afro and lit up when you pinged it. 

After an evening with the pen, there wasn't much left to ping anymore. 

It did still light up though. Maybe if I got a dedicated Wrist Squigglet

then it would last a bit longer? Still waiting on my eBay order to find out. 

Stimming while new skilling

There are so many things to use as a stim. Great puzzles that are much more durable and seem, less, er, weird. 

https://jpgamesltd.co.uk/buy-puzzles

Stuff I could do and look smart or useful doing. Like a rubix cube. Or something else. 

Then there are musical instruments and toys like yoyos and diabolos where you can learn a new skill, do something that comes with a community, and stim all in one.

What could be better?

Clackers

I also considered clackers briefly. 

I mean, they are perfect, easy to carry around, affordable and do that jiggle that I like. But really too noisy and I'm sure that those balls knocking into your fingers could be really painful. I have to type all day at work so that would be no good.

I also considered making some, with a bit of string and some bouncy balls but discarded that idea.

Heat and pressure stims

I also thought about giving a weighted blanket a try. I heard Chrissy Tigen talk about it. I always wanted to try it for free before commiting to buying it. But I will just get one anyway and see how it goes. 

Also, on TikTok, I saw people talking about using heat pads as stims. So I will look into using one and see when and how I can use it. 

Visual stims - my light diffuser 

Visual stims also come into it. I guess it covers things like lava lamps, and tinted lights and possibly even a great view. 

I dunno what it is but visual stims take the lingering depression and self violence away but they also satisfy me, deeply and I don't want to talk all. 

I've again in TikTok seen girls talking about getting burnt out and going non verbal. I do find it hard to talk, maybe if I actually didn't have all visual signs of ADHD beaten out as a child would I be nonverbal but significantly happier but living in a filthy institution some? 

Impossible to know really. 

Also, I already have some visual stims. In the winter when the dark mornings have depression breathing down my neck. I reach for lightning. I have a floodlight that plays the soothing sounds of a river and waves like water across my walls. I have a diffuser that emits a slow mist and emits rainbow light. 

I have red fairy lights attached to a timer which come on in the evenings and work to effortlessly soothe me to sleep. 

Audio stims 

I always have headphones. Music is a big part of my life. My Apple Music subscription is the only app I've ever paid for, well apart from Notability. 

I can tune into one particular emotion relentlessly for hours and hours and feel supported in my joy or sadness. 

My diffuser makes a thin but pleasing sound and I love the ticking of the clock cos it eats into the oppressive silence and gives me something to focus on as I get the running passenger to slow down, so I can sleep and keep quiet. 

Movement as a stim

The only issue with them and all other stim tools is that they are so noisy and you might end up in a situation where you have nothing on you. Like if you forget your bag, or you drop it while running from the police, for example. 

Dancing 

I like dancing, moving helps me. Gives my unruly passenger a beautiful form and shape. Gives me a community, I can be around people who are happy not to talk because of the loud music. 

It's where I feel most "at home" when I'm not at home. It lifts up my mood and makes me happy.

Sometimes though, because I'm at work and none of the other stims are available to me and I don't want my mood lifted, I just need to zone in with absolute confidence and recital of facts. 

This is where I've fallen down, become the most unstuck. Its not the place to be happy. I can't shake my legs under the desk because it can show fear. All I have is my mind and its such a scary place to be. I'm just filled with these wild thoughts going at full speed. Intercepting with any of them will make me look idiotic. And the fear of being overwhelmed is overwhelming and makes everything worse and I have to head to my favourite toilet to cry in. 

Exercising

Walking up stairs or doing some quick burst of energy has been the very best. 

I like full body movement, I think it feels much better and gets you to your destination mush faster.  The only problem with dancing is that it lifts your mood on a way that's not great for meetings. Some quick yoga or a wobble board works for office situations I think. 

I have heard about people exercising every day to take the edge out of their emotions. Emotions need energy to run, if you burn them out they can't get out of hand and you get a fit body to show off too. 

I now realise, I'd been doing that subconsciously and it worked OK till glandular fever and it's nasty friend chronic fatigue came to pay a visit and stayed for years. I could not even do light yoga when it was at it's worst. 

Yeah, so options are needed. 

Verbal Stimming 

When I have been the most stressed I go into this weird language chatter. 

I dunno what I'm saying but if the stress is prolonged and I feel the intense pressure of peoples expectations I lapse into it. 

This is the most crazy I have ever looked. 

Eating 

Now we are on the concept of things I do with my body. I guess I should talk about eating. I've definitely used eating as a way to calm myself down. 

Just the whole act of getting up to eat, gives you the opportunity to move and get external stimuli, getting sugar gives a nice hit of dopamine too. 

Self stimulating stims

Oh, this sounds very dirty, doesn't it. I mean, it can be, but just touching your body or shoulders does a world of good. 

ADHDOh no

So, I've just realised that I have ADHD. Thanks to TikTok.

I've somehow managed to plan my away around the worst of it. What's been getting me and driving me crazy is how emotional I get compared to everyone else and just how tired other people make me. It's exhausting.

I've encountered so many toxic people too, narcissists, on the hunt for their new supply and my constant search for new stimuli has me running into them and wondering how they find me.

From TikTok, I've learned about consent, blurting stuff out and info dumping.

I've neglected this blog because I hated having so many options but now I'm gonna keep info dumping and put it all here. 

Pokemon Go

So, I've recently realised that I like "video" games. It true that I haven't looked at a video much less touched one in several years. 

Ive always known I liked vintage games. And by vintage games I mean Zelda and Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards and notJet set Willy on the ZX Spectrum.

I've never lived near my job and looking commutes are a now a part of life.

Books- how to fall in love with reading again

Bear Despair

So, lots of people like books and lots of people like reading, but where is one to find good books and where does one find good recommendations?
 I have found that the best place is other peoples blogs, the recommendation sytem on Amazon is so monetised and maniptate/manipulated its almost offputting to read. And slowly and surely I fell out of love with reading. I happened so gradually I didn't even really feel it happening. I replaced the book with projects I told myself I would work on, I replaced the adventures that I could go on in my mind with short antedotes from reddit and twitter. I left tons of things undone so I would never be able to unbusy myself enough to get around to figuring out why I felt so bored and restless most of the time. I even tried to make myself listen to podcasts and the newsmore often.

Sometimes I outright forced myself to pick up a book and read it but then I would put it off and put if off, until finally the threat of late charges would force me to return it, back to the public library I had got it from, unread.

So I dig through old blogs instead.

My most favourite one is  Seven Impossible Things. The blogs' author Jules certainly know how to write up a book, taking the time to get a full page spread and speaking to the author where he can, I have spent many a Sunday afternoon or days when I am in need to cheering up on that blog.

Second favourite is Vintage Books My Kid Loves , it also happens to be about kids books and is a great place to reminise on some of those books you read as a kid or catch up on the ones you missed.


Strangely enough, none of these sites actually lead to me reading books, I just didnt seem to have the same level of concentration that I normally had before, my mind kept wandering. So I thought maybe I could combine my love of music with that of books. intead of podcasts on topics I did not want to learn more about, even though I should... I found podcasts about books instead.

The BBC World Service Book Club  was a fantastic source, the presenter, Harriett Gilbert,  seemed to have sixth sense abou these things, knowing what to ask  which questions to take and excellently steering the conversation, so tht everyone in the room was happy. I refued to look her up so that I could keep her in my mind as a person who only read, ate, slept and presented.


The gothic book was introduced to me through the Guardian Books Podcasts I also finally heard Marlon James in his own voice. His conviction and the releif he took from getting his words written down and giving characters a voice really started to pull me in the way books used to and I was determined to make sure I would get some reading done. Also, their podcast on ghost stories introduced me to the Edwardian writer Saki who I would definitely like to read further.

 I long to fall so hard for a book that I would not want to read another.

Hello again

Can't belive how long it has been since I last wrote a post. I can't belive there is still not an app for blog writing on your phone. I really should try on my tablet. What's the reason I have not written in so long?Could it be that I missed reader so much I didnt want any reminder of what I'd lost? Could it be doing three jobs does take its toll? Could be the grandular fever? Could it be spending so much time on askreddit? Does having multiple twitter accounts, two facebooks, pinterest, 2 tumblr accounts, vine, instagram and now snapchat actually drain your creativity? Maybe its cos Im getting old? Who knows... anyway I am back from the "dead" unlike Reader, which will never come back. Time to dig into all those drafts.

 Just for the record, on googlereader I managed to read a total of 34,933 items from 14 January 2010 until the time it closed down.
These are a few links that got me through that difficult time.

Some Americans who felt the same as me

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/books/2013/03/farewell-dear-reader.html

 

A lovely discussion from Reddit

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1a8zgj/what_are_some_good_web_rss_readers_to_replace 

 

Reader Trends

https://www.google.com/reader/view/#trends-page

 

Reader subsitutes which are free

http://www.officialsamuel.com/blog/google-reader-substitute/

 

Google reader April fool : ReaderAdvantage™.

http://googlereader.blogspot.co.uk/2010/04/google-reader-gives-back.html